Friday, December 1, 2017

Waiting (Contemplative Piece/Poem)

"Why aren't you on the street corner?" I sigh, as I berate God for not being where I want him to be. "I've been begging for a sign, but I don't hear anything." I say, and my irate ranting covers the sound of his whispers in my ear.

"Why don't you come to me in a pillar of fire?" I say. "You did it for her, so why am I always left out?" I close my eyes in disgust, and miss the small message coming my way in the form of a paper airplane on a gust of wind.

"Where's my miraculous healing?" I scream, as I further twist my own arm behind my back. "You healed him when he asked, so am I just not important to you?" I say, as I turn my back right before you come to me with a band-aid held in your outstretched hand.

"Why wasn't I listening?" I whisper, when I finally have dropped my facades enough to notice your permanent presence in my bedroom, right there in the corner where I'd stuffed you. "It's okay." You respond, as you hand me a handwritten letter with the answers to all of my questions and doubts. "I was just waiting for permission to hold your hand." You say, as you hold me while I cry, and you paste me back together.

Matthew 5:41 (Original Poem)

i have been carrying my master's armor for many a mile,
just as i was instructed to
all my life
"fight the good fight"
"rewards are just around the corner"
"he sees your sacrifice and he will honor it"
they say
but my body grows weary from the exhurtion

of course, my master is not cruel
he rewards me for my service
whether it is a softly whispered "good job"
or a short day of rest
but i am weary all the same

"lord" i ask
"when will i feel restored?
where is the end of the journey
or even a respite for my aching soul?"

i turn to him expecting answers
but he just smiles
the smile that makes everyone follow his every wish
and answers not my current question
but the question i had asked 5 miles ago

as he waxes lyric about things i had previously asked to hear
i re-adjust the armor in my arms
and focus on walking just one more step

if i can make it to the next mile marker
i might get an answer then

Sunday, October 1, 2017

September Writing Prompts: Reflection

30. Now that you are finished with this challenge, what did you learn or discover?

  • Somedays, I just don't want to write, and that's okay
  • I'd rather have quality on my blog than quantity
  • Writing freely and posting without editing is nervewracking, but a great way to decompress how I'm feeling
  • I can easily get tired of writing things about myself

Friday, September 29, 2017

September Writing Prompts: Childhood books

29. What were your favorite books as a child?

1) American Girl Books

My favorites were Samantha and Kirsten's series, but I read almost all of the American Girl books at one time or another. I think these are what first sparked my love for history. 


2) The Ladd Family Series

Don't be fooled by the tacky 80s covers, these books were amazing. They're catered towards boys, but I absolutely loved the thrilling adventures hidden in the pages. I usually read them in one sitting, because I couldn't put them down.

3) The Boxcar Children Series

I loved the independence of the boxcar children, and I loved the fun mysteries they solved together through their sibling bond. It's still one of my favorite book series, and I still pick them up to re-read from time to time.

4) The Nancy Drew Series

I used to be obsessed with the Nancy Drew books. I own every single book in the series, and I've read almost all of them. I liked the idea of an independent woman who could solve mysteries all on her own. As I got older, the repetitiveness of the series became more apparent to me, but I still hold a soft spot for these books.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

September Writing Prompts: My writing process

28. Tell us about your writing process – do you like music or quiet, is there a special place you go to work, do you type from the beginning or write notes with a pen and paper first?

My writing process isn't very special. I can write pretty much anywhere, but I prefer my environment to be quiet. I can write fairly well in a louder setting as well though. I also like soft/relaxing music when I'm writing (one artist I've been listening to a lot lately when I write is Gungor), or no music at all. I don't have a special place to write, and I work on my writing whenever and wherever I want to.

I don't tend to write many things out on paper. Instead, I go straight to the computer to write. Especially with things like blog posts and term papers, which I edit quite a lot. However, I do write poems out on paper first. I always start my writings with a brief outline, such as a few words to describe what each general paragraph will be, then I fill it in with actual writing as I go along. 

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

September Writing Prompts: Assumptions

27. Write about the assumptions people make about you.

  • When I was in high school and middle school, people assumed that since I was homeschooled I was sheltered and didn't know anything about the world. It was frustrating because they would treat me patronizingly and would often exclude me from conversations or events because they felt I would freak out on them or something. Sometimes it was legitimate concerns on their part, and sometimes they were right, but the majority of the time it wouldn't have been a problem and it just left me feeling out of the loop.
  • People assume that I only like girly things, which is completely false. This one is fun though, because then when I say something really snarky, or tell people I listen to heavy metal, or climb a tree in my skirts, or chime in on bro-dude conversations about video games, it's pretty funny to see their shocked reactions.
  • People assume that I'm either an extrovert or a super-quiet, person-who-never-talks, introvert. Neither of which is correct. In some circles I'm more talkative, but I still enjoy alone time. In other circles (like classes at University that are confusing to me), I don't speak very much. 

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

September Writing Prompts: Guilty Pleasures

26. What are some of your guilty pleasures?

I have a few guilty pleasures. It's not like they're really a secret though. Most people know I like this stuff.

1) Junk food music:
This is music that doesn't have much musical quality, but it's happy and fun and I like it anyways. Most of my "junk food" music is Jpop. It has a certain charm to it that I've never been able to find in any other type of music. Here are some of my favorite cutesy artists, and a sample of their songs I like.

Waracchaou yo Boyfriend by Berryz Koubou

Dancin'&Dreamin by Hinoi Team

Rottara Rottara by Bouno!

Sakura Apparation by Denpagumi.inc

2) Cutesy games
I love gaming, and I play all types of games. Rpg, PC adventure games, puzzle games, etc. I like all kinds of games (except first-person shooters...) but I have a soft spot for cutesy games. They're just something I've always enjoyed. My favorites are Ham-Ham Heartbreak, Ham-Ham's Unite, Princess Debut, and Flower Town in Mii Plaza.

Hamtaro Gameboy/GBA games

Princess Debut for the DS

Flower Town in 3DS Mii Plaza

3) Bella Sara cards
Most people probably don't remember these, but they were pretty big in the early 2000s. They were created as trading cards that could cater to a female demographic, but they grew into an online game, a book series, and they even produced a few (really bad) movies based on the stories these cards tell. It was all really cheesy looking back, but I absolutely adored these cards when I was younger and I was an avid collector. I still have every single one of the cards I bought, and they fill up an entire tin. I think I have over 300, but I've never actually taken the time to count them all. Embarrassingly enough, I've actually purchased some of the leftover packs people are getting rid of on Amazon, since they don't produce them anymore. And it was only last year that I bought them. I still pull them out from time to time and access their website (which is surprisingly still running almost perfectly) to play the online game.

4) Translating things into Elvish (Quenya)
I'm a huge Tolkien fan, so much so that I wanted to learn Elvish. So I did. It was surprisingly easy actually. I can't say sentences off of the top of my head, but I know how the sentence structure works and if you give me a sentence to create/translate, and let me get my dictionary, I can do so for you in a pretty short amount of time. I can also read Elvish pretty well.

This is Elfdict.com, which I know how to navigate very well....  
Because I do so often....

5) Old Folk Songs
I adore old folk music, and I listen to it all of the time. If you shoot me a time period in America, I can sing you a handful of different songs that accompany it. And when I walk through museums or go to reenactments, I often find myself singing and humming along to these ancient tunes that no one else knows. It can be a little embarrassing sometimes. Some of my favorite artists who have revived folk music for the modern ages are Diane Taraz, Jean Ritchie, and Pete Seeger.

Doffin Mistress (Live) by Diana Taraz

Johhny Has Gone for a Soldier by Diane Taraz

Hangman by Jean Ritchie

Die Gedanken Sind Frei by Pete Seeger