Friday, December 1, 2017

Waiting (Contemplative Piece/Poem)

"Why aren't you on the street corner?" I sigh, as I berate God for not being where I want him to be. "I've been begging for a sign, but I don't hear anything." I say, and my irate ranting covers the sound of his whispers in my ear.

"Why don't you come to me in a pillar of fire?" I say. "You did it for her, so why am I always left out?" I close my eyes in disgust, and miss the small message coming my way in the form of a paper airplane on a gust of wind.

"Where's my miraculous healing?" I scream, as I further twist my own arm behind my back. "You healed him when he asked, so am I just not important to you?" I say, as I turn my back right before you come to me with a band-aid held in your outstretched hand.

"Why wasn't I listening?" I whisper, when I finally have dropped my facades enough to notice your permanent presence in my bedroom, right there in the corner where I'd stuffed you. "It's okay." You respond, as you hand me a handwritten letter with the answers to all of my questions and doubts. "I was just waiting for permission to hold your hand." You say, as you hold me while I cry, and you paste me back together.

Matthew 5:41 (Original Poem)

i have been carrying my master's armor for many a mile,
just as i was instructed to
all my life
"fight the good fight"
"rewards are just around the corner"
"he sees your sacrifice and he will honor it"
they say
but my body grows weary from the exhurtion

of course, my master is not cruel
he rewards me for my service
whether it is a softly whispered "good job"
or a short day of rest
but i am weary all the same

"lord" i ask
"when will i feel restored?
where is the end of the journey
or even a respite for my aching soul?"

i turn to him expecting answers
but he just smiles
the smile that makes everyone follow his every wish
and answers not my current question
but the question i had asked 5 miles ago

as he waxes lyric about things i had previously asked to hear
i re-adjust the armor in my arms
and focus on walking just one more step

if i can make it to the next mile marker
i might get an answer then