To me, authenticity in my faith means I only want what is authentically right and true and God's will. If it isn't God's will, I don't want it to be my desire. If he didn't say it or condone it, then I have no need for it.
Of course, I'm not perfect, so I don't always enact this. And I'm also fallible, so what I think is right isn't always, and I am always learning and changing and growing. Yet, I find as a grow closer and closer to God, that this yearning for his complete and perfect will only grows.
I think it all started when I decided to read the entire Bible. A task I had never thought to accomplish, but one that helped me to solidify my theology and peel away layers of incorrect assumptions I had long kept. I was left at the end with a firmer grasp on my faith, to be certain, but also with a deep desire to learn more about what was still unclear to me.
Now, I am in a place where I am picking apart everything. Cultural beliefs about God, things I've learned from trusted teachers and friends, denominational differences, all of it is coming under the lens of scrutiny. More often than not, I find nothing wrong with the things I believed to be the truth, but sometimes I find scripture that contradicts something I didn't expect, and I have to reform my beliefs to match that of my Lord. It's a long process, and one that I know will take my whole life to complete, but it's worth it to know that I will come out of this looking more like Jesus.
Unfortunately, I don't see many people around me with the same desires, and it can be disheartening. I have so many dear friends and family members whom I love, and whom I know do love Jesus, but whom just aren't willing or maybe ready to take the next step in their faith. I also see so many people who had strong walks with Christ abandoning their beliefs to accept a worldly version of Jesus, diluting him down to something that fits their narrative, their needs, their wants. And that breaks my heart more than anything.
It's one thing to have denominational differences or rib issues (versus spine issues as my mother always says) or to be simply immature in your faith and waiting for God to move. It's another to craft an image of God that is contrary to his word, simply because it suits you.
To me, I have come to a place where if God's word doesn't say it explicitly, or if it doesn't fall in line with the whole of scripture, I don't want it. Even if it seems harmless, even if it isn't considered "bad". If it is not of God, I don't want it.
I pray that for others, this becomes your heart's cry too. Learn, read, find out more about what the Lord says, learn about your church's traditions, learn about the history of the church, learn about your family, examine why you know what you know and who told it to you. And back all of this with scripture. Chances are, you'll be surprised at what things you find. You probably won't come out the same.
Recently, a friend shared a song with me. It's definitely not my jam on a musical standpoint, but the lyrics hold a deep truth that I think is so important. "I don’t want it if You’re not in it. I just want You, God."
Lord, let the cry of our hearts be for you. Let us desire what you desire only, let us know you for who you are, not who we want you to be. Let us tear away all of the things of this world, no matter how precious they are to us, and leave us only with what we know is of you. You are the only thing that matters, you are the reason for being. In the name of your precious son Jesus, Amen.
