A Practical Step: Desiring God

Recently, I've been struggling with a lack of something in myself. To be more specific, a lack of desire for God. Now, I can't exactly pinpoint the exact moment when this lack of desire first became apparent to me, but I do know that it's been a major stumbling block in my life for a while now.

You may or may not know, depending on how well you know me, that I often play on my church's worship team. Last week I was on rotation, and we played a song called "Come to the Water" by Kristian Stanfill. The lyrics are pretty standard as far as a praise and worship songs go. But this particular week one line stood out to me from the chorus.

"We believe in the kingdom come
We believe in the risen Son
You bring our hearts to life
Lord we come with our hands up high
We believe You will satisfy
You bring our hearts to life
You bring our hearts to life
We are alive"

"We believe you will satisfy". That's a pretty big statement to make, isn't it? I know in my own life I've often looked at things that I enjoy that I know weren't the best for me, or things that were taking his place in my heart, and I've wondered how God could ever satisfy as much as the things I was holding onto. We hear all the time that God is greater than all of our selfish desires, but I think deep down inside all of us we doubt that it could ever be true. And sometimes, maybe we don't want it to be true.

For me, when this happens, I tend to shy away from God. When I notice that I've not given him the 100% he asks for, or that I don't feel fully satisfied in him, I feel guilty. And I often feel in those times that I shouldn't be praying to him, or learning about him, or really having anything to do with him. Because if I was a "real" Christian I would be totally satisfied in him, right? And because of this tendency, in the times when I need to be drawing closer to God I pull farther away.

Now if you look at this line of the song, "We believe you'll satisfy", you should notice a very specific word. That word is believe. Note that they didn't say "We know he will satisfy" or "He does satisfy" or "He has already satisfied". No they say "We believe he will satisfy". Why, you might ask, is this significant? Because with this one word we create a very deep and meaningful truth that I think many of us don't realize. That truth is this; Just because you don't see the results you're looking for now, doesn't mean that God isn't working in you.

Let me repeat that; Just because you don't see the results you're looking for now, doesn't mean that God isn't working in you.

When I realized this, it was huge for me. You see, I was shying away from interaction with God because I didn't see him working right away. I would say my quick prayer for him to satisfy me in him, and then I wouldn't give him the time to work in my life and make it so. What I needed to be doing was asking him to satisfy, and then drawing close to him believing it would be so.

God may not immediately satisfy you in him, he hasn't yet for me, but he's always working on your heart as I know he is working on mine. It may take years of softening before you begin to feel satisfied in him. And there will always be times when you struggle and feel like God will never be enough. But you should never pull away from God, even when you feel inadequate. God always wants to have a relationship with you, and although he wants your all, that doesn't mean he stops listening when you don't give it. And the moment you pull away, you give footholds to negative things in your life. Because as soon as you stop feeding yourself with God's truth, you create gaps that can be filled by anyone who comes along with a bit of something to fill them with.

So maybe this week, when you feel discouraged and unsatisfied in God, you can take a step out in faith with me and draw nearer to God believing he will satisfy. And maybe together, we can find out what it's like to be truly satisfied in him.

Blessings,
Kathryn